Wednesday 8 February 2012

That Unlucky Beige Carpet

It’s one of my favourite ever Vic and Bob Sketches: Bob needs a lucky charm. Vic boasts about his ‘lucky’ ten foot long roll of beige carpet and honours it with an hilarious song (which is also oddly inspiring.)

I have written before about the curse of the rampaging non-colours used when decoration is imposed in rented housing. The only creativity being shown is in the rainbow of new names invented: oatmeal, greige, beige, toast, ivory, magnolia, cream, apple white, rose white etc etc.

The mantra when letting (or especially selling) a property, so as not to frighten potential takers is ‘neutral tones,’ condemning renters to a bleak empty world of non-colour, where bright hues are banned and vibrancy disdained and forbidden. You’d never imagine that something so simple as a bland floor-covering could cause so much misery.

But it does. The reason for its omnipresence is thrift (aka miserliness): such carpet can be bought in bulk and is easy to replace while still charging tenants for the privilege.

Cream/beige (even white, for crying out loud) carpet has a magnetic effect on espresso and red wine. Landlords: I ask you, would you put pale carpet in your kitchen? Would you put carpet in your kitchen at all? It’s another common landlord habit: putting carpet in the kitchen, as moppable lino/tiles are more expensive, lumbering tenants with a problem: they are fined from the deposit for dirty conditions, and if you cook, then you spill - on to a beige carpet, which will never clean, since it is the cheapest carpet ever, and is put there solely to beckon grease and blueberries (they stain when crushed into the floor) and anything that drops and leaves a mark, with the renter kissing that intact deposit goodbye.

Now I’ll make the case for tenants to argue reasonable wear and tear here, when laminate resonates and amplifies every step, whisper and sniff. But in a kitchen? In a bathroom? In the hall on the way through from the muddy untended garden?

There are so many better ways of covering a floor, something which matters in these days of contested safe-guarded deposits and long-term renting: it’s not homely. It’s not how people live. It makes life nerve-wracking: factor in a house with kids, or a muddy garden, and you have disaster of permanent footprints and a row with the owner about why, why, why on earth for god’s sake why they put uncleanable, easily stained cream to beige carpet in the house at all, let alone (good grief) in the kitchen? As you step over traces of dinners long past: borscht, tomato sauce, red currents every mark, every stain is money lost.

Tenants often pay up to keep a good reference and landlords deploy another swathe of that vast roll of carpet stored in the property (this is a true story: tenant fined in the knowledge owner had bought and stored bulk carpet in the tenants loft.)

So: don’t put that cheap, unlucky beige carpet in the kitchen. Don’t put it anywhere at all. Then tenants won’t need to carry around a roll of ‘lucky’ beige carpet.



http://rentergirl.blogspot.com/2008/09/mad-max-in-magnolia.html


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYyMN4o5MDs

25 comments:

Emma said...

A three minute segment on renting, benefits and stupid landlords was just on BBC breakfast. They were briefly saying what you've been saying for a long time. Shame it wasn't on for longer - they swiftly moved on to a much more important and pressing issue, IS THERE LIFE ON MARS?

RenterGirl said...

That doesn't surprise me. Now that more people (ie middle class people) are renting, they will also start squealing about iniquities, callousness and general horrible nature of renting. Maybe this will make things like retaliatory evictions/notice given on a whim/assured short term tenancies (accursed short term travesties)and nasty beige carpet will gain better coverage. But then, I am dreamer.

Emma said...

I am shortly to lose my deposit after my last move. The inventory check when I moved in states things like 'marks on the bathroom wall'. The new inventory says 'fingerprints on the bathroom wall'. Those were indeed what the marks were - but it's a 'difference' so it means I'm liable. I don't know how to fight it. Aparrently you need to be an expert in inventory checking when you first move in to make sure the wording is exactly correct? Oh and the beige bedroom carpet was 'marked'. Scumbags.

RenterGirl said...

Contest it. Your deposit saved in a scheme, right? So challenge the notion that those 'marks' are the fingerprints now referred to. Some agencies and owners rely on your being supine, and even regard deposits still as extra income. Don't let them get away with it. Good luck!

Emma said...

Funnily enough he just called me to discuss the broken tumbledryer door. It wasn't me, I never used the tumbledryer! Bit of a hard one to prove either way. He said 'maybe it was your boyfriend'. Yeah, maybe it was the inept person you sent round to plumb in the new washing machine. Blah. I see how they get away with it, you just want it over with at almost any cost by the end, so you can move on. Though he did say he was willing to give me back the majority of my deposit if I need the money, and hold some until we find out about repairs. He was too nice to me and made me feel guilty for complaining. ARGH! Thankfully my new live-in landlord has turned out to be very nice indeed, is hardly in the house and not afraid of using the heating...

space cadet said...

Oh Emma, i feel for you. Best to take your own photos next time; it's your best evidence to ever contest these things. "Scumbags" is putting it politely.

And it's worth remembering, those magic words: wear and tear. Must we keep saying it: people LIVE in their rented HOMES. What next, deposits held for s-g in the toilet? (sorry, but i'm angry)

RenterGirl said...

Emma: I sincerely hope you are contesting this. It was an inept contractor. Don't pay up.

space cadet said...

Ah. Thanks for the clarification. But to any greedy landlords reading this - I urge you:

Please, stop and think, about your unreasonable greedy demands, the great anxiety and hardship you can cause your tenants, and the moral obligation on YOU, the landlord and the owner, to keep the property looking fresh each time. So that might mean a fresh lick of paint, and it is you, the landlord, that should pay for it.

As rentergirl has already said so well, landlords need to factor such expenses into your costs. We are not your cash cows.

RenterGirl said...

Exactly. Landlords seem to be trying to end the notion of reasonable wear and tear. The flat is a home, not an artefact, and will be used which will cause...wear and tear.

MattW said...

"What next, deposits held for s-g in the toilet?"

Thank you Space Cadet! that gave me a chuckle. I do wonder if any amateur landlords have ever been tempted to put in a 'no flatulence' rule in their tenancy agreements?!

RenterGirl said...

Don't joke about it Matt! No dogs/no claimants/no children/no shift-workers/no eating/do not tread on the carpet.

space cadet said...

No smoking / no pets / no pictures on the walls / no visitors to stay.... it just goes on. And these are just the ones people say out loud. My live-in landlord started counting shoes in the hallway. I'd only gone and left two pairs. He loves to leave the front door unlocked, but when i dared to question *that*, he told me "If you don't like it here, you can leave". I have to be out be out by the end of March. Which is also when my job ends. Funnily enough, i am s-g it right now. I can't concentrate on anything for being so anxious, not even job hunting.

Matt Wardman said...

@RG

My standard is ceramic tiles or laminate downstairs + laminate bathroom + usually lounge.

Colour has to be neutral; that's what the market wants, and lost tenants and longer voids mean higher rents.

If T wants a white, orange (!) or pink/yellow polkadot carpet then rugs are very reasonable these days; or a long tenancy can be negotiated so T can redecorate.

>putting carpet in the kitchen
Anybody who does that (or rents it :-) is nuts.

@Emma

Appeal it. The Arbitration Schemes run on "if LL can't prove it to the nth degree, benefit of doubt goes to T".

That means a professional inventory at the start. If there isn't one of those LL can't prove a thing.

If there are 'fingerprints on the bathroom' wall, then try some Vim. Or repaint it - your obligation is to return the place in the same condition less wear and tear.

Matt Wardman said...

@s-c

>Please, stop and think, about your unreasonable greedy demands, the great anxiety and hardship you can cause your tenants,

That all cuts both ways.

> and the moral obligation on YOU,

That is not really worth the paper it isn't written on.

>to keep the property looking fresh each time. So that might mean a fresh lick of paint, and it is you, the landlord, that should pay for it.

That, and who is responsible for what, is defined pretty comprehensively in about 4 Acts of Parliament and decades of case law.

Lord Denning on "Tenantlike Manner" was good on blocked drains in Warren vs Keen 1954 :-).

http://www.letlink.co.uk/articles/disrepair/repairs-the-responsibilities-of-the-landlord-and-tenant.html

The current difficult one is damp, and whether it is a house fault or T not vebntilating properly and putting washing on radiators.

Matt Wardman said...

@Emma

As a small LL and multiple renter, I'd say never feel guilty for complaining; if you don't LL won't know about it, and it won't get resolved.

RenterGirl said...

It used to be that tenants were even given a week rent free (or reasonable costs) to paint when they love din. This was easier for the owner, save money, and made for happier tenants who living in a home rather than white cube. Yep - rugs and other tricks to make a place look homely. Also bring back picture rails. And yes: appeal. Always.

space cadet said...

If landlord makes a greedy demand, tenant can lose hunbdreds of pounds, a lot of sleep, worse still, their home. If tenant makes a greedy demand, landlord can lose a lot of patience, and start ignoring them.

Let's cite outdated case law yeah, save having the landlord paint that wall! God forbid they should factor any costs into their own investment. God forbid we live in our homes, and leave fingerprints on the wall. They want their neat little investments left spotless, thanks. After all, their own homes must be spotless, i'm sure.

Matt the landlord said it himself: moral obligation counts for nothing. Sums up every landlord i ever had (bar one). Presumably, Emma bills them for the paint does she Matt? On a bloody paper aeroplane.

RenterGirl said...

I agree (mostly) but it's about custom and practice. It didn't used to be that way: tenants and long term occupancy were valued. Now letting agents can coin in by deliberately encouraging tenants to leave.

space cadet said...

It requires both parties to be reasonable doesn't it, and it's practically impossible for legislate for that. I would happily fund the paint job to live in my rented property long term, and make it home. But I am not in the business of funding and mitigating the landlord's risk,and painting walls to get a deposit back. That's what their profit is for. If they don't take well to the risks, then they shouldn't be a landlord.

RenterGirl said...

It would be nice if people could be reasonable about this. One really lovely landlord I once rented from (now a friend) refused to let me paint the lounge from a truly vile powder blue as 'he might not like the colour I chose.' We eventually settled on...magnolia. It's a home not a piggy bank.

MattW said...

At least my landlord is fairly lenient. I'm currently renting from a Housing Association (HA) landlord (but paying close to the market rate). Walls inside are magnolia. When I viewed the flat, I was informed that I could replaint the walls but they would need a swatch of the colour.

I can't be bothered doing this as I don't know how long I will be living here. You never know if the HA might want to sell the flat to raise some capital.

RenterGirl said...

In which case, it won't kill them to paint it!

Emma said...

@MattW - I had a housing association flat nce. Lovely place. Awful landlords. They had a hotline to get problems fixed - I moved in and had no hot water for 2 months, so that worked well. For the final two months the lift didn't work, so when they served me notice at 6 months (unexpected, no reason given except 'they wanted it back') I had to move out from the 6th floor with no lift - and since it was let with no white goods that meant moving a fridge, washing machine, oven... Then, when I got to the new flat, also on the 6th floor, the lift had randomly gone out of order. I had booked two men and a van and they didn't complain - carried everything up all those stairs!

@Matt Wardman I didn't leave fingerprints on the wall. They were left by the previous tenant. The place was in a state - sockets hanging off the wall and ceiling. I repaired some of it myself - even got a new loo seat as the old one was cracked. The landlord was fair throughout my tenancy, I used to crow about how great they were. They agreed to fit a dishwasher for me, replaced the washing machine quickly when it broke, it was great. But the differences between those two check in and check out reports have left a really bad taste that I can't forgive. I left the place in a better state than it was when I moved in - but the inventory had exaggerated the marks that were there from the start and added a few wear and tear marks - no sign of the things that IMPROVED through my stay. It's a shame, I think, that it works that way.

RenterGirl said...

Emma - the reputation of Housing Associations and their actual behaviour is something I've been meaning to write about for a while. They can be hardcore nasty.

space cadet said...

@Emma. I was endeavouring to make a further point (not so clearly, mind) that even if the fingerprints HAD been yours, landlords need to be reasonable, understand those words "wear and tear", factor costs and refrain from bullying tenants for money.