Family Homes.

So let's return to those tens of thousands of new homes currently been promised and planned for by everyone - that's all governments, developers, and everybody.

As I have said previously, I strongly suspect that in reality, this means the resurrection of the dreaded 'dovecot' - that is, rickety, thin-walled, tiny, jerry-built one or two-bed flats provided for the delight of buy-to-let owners, and not the spacious, well-designed family homes we need. The last time there was enthusiasm for buildings, we ended up with vast, yawning, panoramas of matching newbuild low-rise blocks of flats, which are probably starting to fall into disrepair... right about now. Well - those that aren't falling down.

First off, we must define 'family'. We need to define family where idiots like Jeremy Hunt are bemoaning the fact that we don't all welcome our elderly parents to live with us, despite that bedroom-tax thingy, and the UK having the smallest homes in Europe, etc. Families in actual, real life are complex creatures.

They rarely comprise of neat interludes of 2.4 children per heterosexual life-partnership. No: families are blended (that is when two partners with children from previous relationships share a home). They mighty even be multi-generational - with grandparents sharing to be cared for themselves, or to care for children. There will older half-siblings of varied gender, perhaps returning home to save or in breaks from their studies. All or none of the above is likely to be employed to do shift work which comes with anti-social hours. Some might be disabled, and so require specific access facilities, and space for health equipment.

In all honesty it's always been that way. Tenants – even owners – must live in what they are given. But now we must cater directly for real life. Privacy is essential, and rooms situated in other storeys, as sticking to two floor houses might not work anymore. We need separation of rooms dedicated to different uses. The current trend for open-plan living defeats different modern life: people need a quieter study space, and room for eating and distracting 'entertainments' like television.

They will also need sufficient storage space for everyone, for clothes and other possessions, and of course proper sound-proofing. I'm really interested in the idea of the 'passivhaus' built with triple glazing, excellent insulation for warmth, and heated by warm air circulating. This would bring an end to the spine-tingling fear, guilt and recriminations when the one person at home turns on the heating.

This typically, untypical family I've created also needs a good-sized garden, with some space to grow food (I am not expecting any more allotment space to be set aside any time soon.) The kitchen should have enough space for energy efficient food storage ie large, economical freezers, and cupboards for bulk buying food so as to economise.

So that's what we need: a new initiative for three-story, spacious, sound-insulated, passivhaus's, each with enough room for every family member to have a seat at the table and another in the lounge. Is it too hard? I can hear developers everywhere laughing disdainfully even as I type.

It's All Gone Quiet Over There

In Greek myth, Cassandra was blessed by the gods with the gift of true prophecy, but cursed when nobody could believe her predictions. When I first moved into Dovecot Towers, I looked across from my balcony, and forecast:

(a) ‘It’s going to rain.’
And
(b) ‘I am witnessing a genuine social and economic phenomenon: the excessive building of below par new build developments for the buy to let bubble when an economic downturn is approaching. It will end badly (just you mark my words.)’

Certain readers remain sceptical, but official evidence suggests that whatever happens in or around Dovecot Towers is repeated in developments nationwide. It’s just that recently I’ve noticed something new which may prove significant in the future: the building site opposite, which has been the bane of my life, has gone strangely quiet.

Previously I was woken at 7am sharp (even on Saturdays) by sirens, frantic shouting and machines roaring, as the construction company raced to complete this latest addition to an array of identikit developments across the way. Speed was of the essence: workers bellowed and the buildings grew at breakneck speed as cranes hoisted vats of concrete enabling lift shafts to appear first, erect in isolation. Then the skeleton was filled in hastily by walls, windows and balconies as they filled in the gaps.

Now it’s quiet. Not entirely silent, but far less builders scream at cranes or stomp up and down the road. It may seem vainglorious (forgive me) but I suspect this calm is indicative of an end to the building boom. People count the cranes on cityscape to ascertain how much work is being done, and one of the cranes has been dismantled.

The buy to let revolution was not supervised and like Icarus, investors flew too close to the sun. Amateur investors bought off plan, lured in with gifted deposits and 130% mortgages. They were assured at seminars that rental incomes would be massive and grew giddy with greed, relying on inflated, unrealistic rents instead of a steady rise in equity as surety for the future. It was always doomed.

Nobody thought to question the wisdom of covering enormous areas of valuable land not with well designed, and sturdy two, three (or even four) bedroom houses, but with miserly and shoddy hutches. I don’t want to buy one; I know too well what they are like. Owner occupiers are rare as nobody wants to actually own a flat here and live in it themselves.

The space around Dovecot Towers was like The Klondyke: a muddy boom town, but now developers and building companies are scaling back. After all what’s the rush? It’s not as if they’re beating off prospective buyers with a stick (and who in their right mind would approve a mortgage?) Nobody wants to live in a newbuild long term.

This is a genuine human tragedy. Cities (even some suburbs) are blighted by superfluous, virtually uninhabitable boxes. The Cassandra in me says: stop building, or even better demolish them all before we are surrounded by deserted building sites blighted by skeletal abandoned newbuilds. I don’t imagine for one minute that anyone will pay attention.