The idea of being a lodger still sounds dull, and seedy - redolent of rationed hot water, sneaking upstairs to hide ‘guests’ and terrifying battle-axe landladies. Don’t worry - by lodging I don’t mean boarding houses, but renting a room in someone else’s house.
Lodging is now officially encouraged: the last government even gave tax breaks to people letting out a room. And on the surface, it seems like a great idea – owner-occupiers are in trouble, and so many people bought two bed flats (dovecots) that they might as well let one room out.
If only it was that simple. First of all – who gets the en-suite room? Might seem petty, but these are things that lead to simmering white-faced resentment. A friend lodged as a student, renting a room from a testy, bitter couple both forced into low paid jobs and saddled with an unwieldy mortgage. Taking in a student must initially have seemed like a grand idea, but the situation grew nastier day-by-day.
First of all, they grew increasingly proscriptive about when she could use the kitchen. Then her allocated shelf-space was shrunk, and that precious allotted time in the bathroom was shortened. Remember she was paying rent, money they were relying on to stay solvent (maybe that’s why they were so tetchy – they resented the power unwittingly wielded).
They were stunned and hurt by her explanation for leaving: “…but you were a guest in our house.” That surely is the nub of the problem – lodgers are treated like couch surfer friends who have outstayed their welcome, rather than people who live in a room as of right, paying handsomely to so. I know of people who take in lodgers and appreciate the delicate power balance, and have the decency to treat their tenant more like a flat-mate than an irritation.
Another friend rented a room from an eccentric woman who collected cats (no – she was not called Mrs. Cliché) until the house was overrun with moggies, their hair, fur balls, and their spraying. She was unable to voice her anger as lodgers live on a licence, and can be given an hours notice on a whim for imagined slights. The upside is they can usually move immediately - as my friend did here.
Lodgers walk delicately across thin ice, which is carpeted with egg-shells. If owners don’t wash up, or leave their laundry mouldering for months in the machine, that’s their prerogative, and lodgers must smile sweetly and ignore it. They have no sense of ownership - no ‘purchase.’ Lodging twists the natural tenant relationship: everybody must be on their best behaviour, as lodgers can leave whenever they want, and landlords can give lodgers the push whenever they feel like it – just because they want to. It’s like having a landlord as your flatmate – tenants/lodgers must be understanding about repairs, and in turn they will see the effect of the good (and/or poor) management when owners sit opposite them in the lounge (that’s if they let you use it.) It’s a miracle that lodging based violent crime doesn't make the news on a daily basis.
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16 comments:
You reminded me of when my late grandmother had a lodger. My parents felt she'd be lonely after my mother's sister got married so they found her a lodger for company. He was clean, decent and paid everything on time but never talked which kinda beat the whole point.
Its not a bad system, but it does need 2-way protections to make it fair for both sides. Its interesting that none of the protections that apply to ordinary tenants ever apply.
Lodgers might only have basic protection in law but they are still entitled to reasonable notice - not necessarily in writing. Sadly it's one of those rights which is virtually unenforceable in practice. I can't imagine a situation not involving violence/ weapons which would warrant just an hour's notice.
Humphrey - you are right. There are rights. But I have been in the situation of having a seemingly unbalanced landlady ordering me out because she felt like it (most of this blog comes from my own experiences, or those of friends.) And the right to written notice is unenforceable in those situations. Thanks for reading!
My last landlord was an aquaintance of mine, and the owner of the home. I took her second bedroom cos i was unemployed now and no regular landlord would touch me. (I'd been forced to move out of my last place) She was doing me a favour sure. But she got her rent in return. It wasn't charity.
But this was a housing association place - and she didn't want to tell them i was living there, in case tenants weren't allowed. The money always comes first doesn't it. If they turf me out, well that's only my problem isn't it, not hers. But, hjey, i knew this when i moved in.. beggars can't be choosers now can they.
But then the HA found out anyway.
So then she asked me for her rent now, in cash. All £550 of it. This allowed her to keep the secret and and keep the money. Boon. Inconvenience to me? Who cares?
When i tried to discuss it, she berated me for being "difficult". I mean, how dare i?! So i paid in cash. After all, what choice did i have.
I had the audacity to ask for a receipt too (cos she never counted the cash in front of me after all) But she didn't want to give me a receipt - cos that was just more proof of my tenancy.
Every landlord i've ever met thinks that they are doing us some kind of favour. When will they ever get it?!
I was a lodger when a student at different places.
Some were brilliant some awful.
Although none as bad as described by yourself.
I do have a lodger now - and thank God
that a) She is nice and b) I could survive if she left tomorrow.
"Every landlord i've ever met thinks that they are doing us some kind of favour. When will they ever get it?!"
I don't think that I think we both are benefiting. I get money, she gets somewhere cheap (although not as cheap as she would get if she were a pro single mum - but that is another matter and certainly not my fault).
Also if she gets a job somewhere else she can go without any hassle etc.
Anonymous - thanks for your comment. I agree with everything, except for your use of the phrase 'pro single mum' which I don't like at all. Should you make any comments in the future avoid using it - I deplore the denigration of woman who struggle alone raising children with very little support from the father ie the man who probably refuses to pay-up or help out. It's just so Daily Mail.
"Anonymous - thanks for your comment. I agree with everything, except for your use of the phrase 'pro single mum' which I don't like at all. Should you make any comments in the future avoid using it - I deplore the denigration of woman who struggle alone raising children with very little support from the father ie the man who probably refuses to pay-up or help out. It's just so Daily Mail."
You might read the Daily Mail more than I do. Have they ever used the phrase pro single mum?
I know people who are pro single mums - they got pregnant to get housing - it is not a Daily Mail view of the world - even the BBC found that to be true in 1993.
I don't like the phrase or the sentiment - no matter who coined it, and any more similar comments will be deleted. This is not a message board.
" I don't like the phrase or the sentiment - no matter who coined it, and any more similar comments will be deleted. This is not a message board."
What views that you disagree with are allowed? Or it just - despite the vast amount of evidence in favour of it - the view that some single mums are single mums because compared to working in MacDs (I have worked in MacDs and I have a kid and I know which I would prefer) it is not a bad career and some do chose it.
@Anonymous
This isn't really a place to discuss your bitterness towards those who have less than you can imagine, but who seem to inspire feelings of envy in you. It's a[place to read about the nightmare and the trials of renting in the private sector. I don't think attacks on people who feel these trials most are appropriate. If you want to discuss these things, The Daily Mail and BBC HYS have very lively fora where you will find a virtually limitless pool of people who are willing to talk about how 'career single mums' are the cancer that is killing Britain.
"What views that you disagree with are allowed?"
This is't a public discussion forum. If you persist, please let me know where you live and I'll come to your house uninvited and talk ill-informed, spiteful garbage until you throw me out.
Please also note that I won't feed trolls and this is the last time I will reply to you.
I thought that this was not true
@Dazzle
"It's a[place to read about the nightmare and the trials of renting in the private sector.
"
I thought you could write about your experiences. Are people not allowed to say why they think are the way they are?
@Dazzla
"
This is't a public discussion forum.
"
So why allow comments?
Are you the same person as Renter Girl?
"I don't think attacks on people who feel these trials most are appropriate. "
I don't know any single mums who rent privately they all get council housing.
"Please also note that I won't feed trolls and this is the last time I will reply to you."
I am hardly a troll - I just used a phrase that I think is justified by the evidence and got told off for non PC language.
As an owner-occupier with a lodger, can I point out that we are not all bad? I have a two bed flat and I rent out a double room with an ensuite bathroom (I use the other separate bathroom).
I ask probably a slightly less than market price and place great store on choosing the right person (I prefer to have less money in return for a nicer lodger).
I treat my lodger as a flatmate except of course they don't have to be concerned with matters such as utility bills, organising repairs etc, which I take care of.
There are some basic rules including pay me on time, keep common areas clean and tidy, don't smoke inside and let me know if you'll have friends over/guests to stay (and I do the same).
I would never dream of proscribing when a lodger can use the kitchen or not allowing them to have friends over. Good housekeeping and mutual respect by both parties goes a long way.
Maybe it helps that I am a similar age/background to the lodgers I have had so far, and have lived in flat shares before I was an owner-occupier.
I am still good friends with a previous lodger who lived with me for 3 years. I even went to stay with her for a few days while on holiday in Italy this summer.
If only it was always like that!
My parents always took in lodgers when I was small. The first guy we had ended up staying with us for about 9 years, and I now think of him as an older brother. The second and third people we had after that were awful in comparison. One in particular had no concept of the idea that he lived with other people, and would do things like use the bathroom with the door wide open. He was genuinely surprised when my parents told him that they had 2 young daughters and that that wasn't appropriate.
I'm currently a lodger for a really nice woman and her son (she's a working single mum with a PHD, sorry @Anonymous). I'll have been here two years this month, and I don't think I want to leave!
There are obvious problems - it's hard to have friends over for dinner unless my landlady is out, because my room is so small. And they go to bed early, so I've had to get used to not making much noise at night. But in return there are some fantastic benefits. I don't ever worry about bills, just rent. Since I moved here I've been able to help her find better options for her bills, resulting in her agreeing to purchase 24MB broadband, which is useful for both of us! She even cooks for me if she knows I'm going to be in late.
As a student, this house was an absolute godsend. While I wanted my own space away from my family to study, coming home to a stable and caring house was so much better for me than living in halls would have been. I think lodging gets a bad rep; if you find the right place, it's really a great option.
I also am renting out a spare room to fund some bills and my mortgages. I treat my lodgers like flatmates and expect them to do the same for me. They pay low rent including bills which benefits us both nicely! I take care of maintenance etc,
I expect the communal areas to be kept tidy but am not OTT. For 18 months with my existing flatmate/lodger, this has worked mostly fine, but she has started drinking a lot. I've come home to find her keys in the front door, my cats locked out (on many occasions), she's helped herself to my stuff/clothes/food etc, has started playing rent late and has become just quite filthy.
I am planning to give her one months notice this evening.
I understand the worries of eviction and lack of rights as a lodger (I was one before buying my place), but this is my home and sometimes landlords get a rough deal too!
Keeping my fingers crossed for a nice tennant who is a little less selfish next time!
Where people are sharing living space, especially when that space already belongs to one of them, there is the potential for trouble. Even decent, well adjusted people can become very jealous about their living space – your blogs (on lodging), my own experiences and research I’ve done over the past 18 months have borne this out.
I couldn’t agree more that live in landlords should (within reason) treat their lodgers as housemates, not money spinners to be confined to the spare room and only allowed limited “enjoyment” of the landlord’s property on a proscribed basis – to this end, inspired in part by your blog and my own experience renting a room from a friend, I have put together a website and an eBook, 'How to Rent a Room to a Lodger’, with the intention of making live in landlords aware of their responsibilities and preparations they need to make before and after getting a lodger – not least on themselves!
@Charlie: sorry to hear about your issues with your lodger, and I hope she has agreed to move out peacefully. If she needs help with housing, the Crisis website might be helpful – she would need to be in priority need and to satisfy the local authority that she hadn’t intentionally made herself homeless (i.e. hadn’t just left or been evicted) – she might then be entitled to advice and possibly temporary accommodation and assistance into private rented accommodation, unless you are in Scotland where she would have more right to public accommodation.
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