The property market is like Groundhog Day without the gags. It’s an eternal, infernal cycle where people buy piles of bricks and mortar, eit...

Despite having moved out of Dovecot Towers ages ago, I remain fascinated by this phenomenon. Dovecots (twat-flats, euroboxes, yuppiedromes, ...

According to some readers, I have a bad attitude. People see me as an unreasonable, no holds-barred landlord loather, spoiling for a fight. ...

Relocating to another city is a precarious time for tenants. When I was last in that tricky situation, I alternated between sofa-surfing and...

Right now, I’m settled in a well-constructed, peaceful block which is managed humanely and efficiently rather than for profit alone. I love ...

Life for tenants is a madcap relay of constant moving, all speeded up like a Benny Hill sketch to the sound of funny banjo music. We relocat...

Dovecot Towers is on my mind. I’m making preparations for the book I plan to write, going through old posts etc, and a few weeks ago, I went...

The other night I saw a storm like no other. Javelins of rain pierced the sky, while an astonishing display of lightening flashed between sh...

It was an intensely hot, super sunny day three years ago and flat-hunting had driven me to the brink of madness. After several fruitless wee...

When I still lived in Dovecot Towers, a well-dressed, nervy gentleman lurking by the main door startled me by saying: “You have something I ...

Modern flats have something missing. In apartments across the land, from luxury to Dovecot, there’s nowhere to dry washing. Some very strang...

I had a depressing conversation with a builder recently. He was funding his post-grad by working on one of the many developments currently o...

Over the years, my experience of flat-share ads has shown them to need extensive interpretation. Either deliberately deceptive, or in code, ...

Any day now, the 6pm bulletin will announce: “…news just in. We’re all completely screwed. Try not to panic!” But there is one positive stor...

In Glasgow they called me The Banana Box Lady of Gallowgate. Children stared at me and pointed, watching awestruck from a safe distance as I...

A new slum is rising. I knew of its reputation as somewhere even worse than Dovecot Towers, but only recognised the extent of its decline re...

My quest is over. I’ve found a place to live, and it wasn’t easy. After leaving Dovecot Towers, and indeed because of Dovecot Towers, I had ...

My flat hunt has convinced me. There is nothing lower than a letting agent. Traffic wardens, bankers, slugs, and tax inspectors all have the...

The future is here. We’re living there now. Just like Tomorrow’s World predicted, we’re living in pods and eat our food in tablet form. Full...

It’s creepy. Private landlords, renting independently have all but vanished. You could be forgiven for thinking they’ve been abducted by ali...